Associate Mill Hill missionary, Jacinta van Luijk, is the driving force behind the Kitale Community Advancement Programme (KAP). She sent this moving testimony of a participant in one of the workshops offered by KAP. (language as in original)
I am a girl aged 19 years old being third born in our family. I hadn’t realized who I am until I attended KAP unreached workshop. I had lost hope in life and lived meaningless life. I was angry to myself and everyone around, i trusted no one including myself, family and community at large. Surely it was a silent suicidal mission…. I did all the negative things to end my life but God kept on protecting me from harm for KAP to come and safe a life. I was involved in several life threatening activities such as drinking and fighting in night clubs, high level of risky sexual behaviors with whoever I met whether old or young, healthy nor sick, I didn’t care.
During the workshop I realized the dangers I was engaging in to myself, the self-awareness topic was an eye opener. I was in darkness and blind to most cultural believes, childhood sexual trauma that was affecting my life. I remember being counted as out cursed at the age of 7 years because my mother died on the scene at the time of my birth.
During my childhood no one cared and loved me including my own father. I went through several challenges and incident of child neglect, rejection and physical abuse. At the age of 12 years my dad pulled himself close to me and stared buying me gifts, I didn’t know the motive behind it until the day he took me out and forced me to have sex with him. I was left in tears, heartbroken with lost virginity. I was depressed and lost meaning in life. The story spread to my aunt who was inherited by the same man while I was still a baby that triggered domestic violence and divorce, from there my life was played all round by relatives and friends, I had no exact place to stay because of the cultural believe that I was an out cursed who doesn’t deserve to live. I dropped out of school, took my own routes of taking drugs and dancing in night clubs. At the age of 15, one day I got myself exchanging blows with my father in a bar after getting totally drunk he was forcing me to get into his room. After sometime I came to realize that he had done the same to my elder sister.
I have suffered from sexual transmitted infection for long, suspecting to have been infected by my father. It has been on off on off for long until I was fully counseled and referred for treatment by KAP. The group follow up was very powerful, we were all listened to and helped to come out with effective solutions.
In the training one facilitator said, ‘Growth is painful, change is painful but nothing is painful than getting stuck to where you don’t belong” this Was my turning point, I was stuck but topic on life skills decision making helped me to see the purpose of living once again. I now have knowledge and skills for a new beginning. I have met friends to lean on incase of any challenges. God bless KAP.